The Story of The Show
THE COWBOY ROWBOAT INCIDENT
The year was February 1980.
A group of producers under the watchful eye of a benevolent and nameless philanthropist/balloonist were just throwing up the towel on what they thought would be the next wild-mannered fun show. The group had followed the suggestions of the anonymous altruist/balloon-enthusiast to the letter. They had made it fun, they had mannered it as wildly as they come, and they had cast a large huggable fun fellow as the lead for children to look up to and adore from every corner of this world, a creature which called itself... Cowboy Rowboat.
This Cowboy Rowboat was everything they hoped for. He was large. Quite large. Children could ride on his rotund belly. He was zany and wild. And what's more, he arrived at his audition sharply on time and sang "Mrs. Willippy's Silly-Pea", much to their delight.
The show was in place. A set had been built, lavishly, without restraint. It was quite a visual threat. The group was worried children would be blinded. But the humanitarian dirigiblist demanded it remain the same. And, at the last second, he forced the group to include an unknown actor in the cast to play the role of Cowboy Rowboat's side-kick and come-to-life funny friend, someone he had discovered on one of his travels. He was to be known as 'Miguel'. This minor character, completely unaware of his surroundings and developing an acute sense of paranoia and anxiety at this point, was none other than FURNITURES THE GREAT BROWN OAF!!!!
As odd as this may sound, the producers were reluctant to include him. Changes would have to be made. They thought he'd look more honest with a tail. Also, a tuxedo coat was created to adorn him. Perhaps, they surmised, the chemistry between the two monolithic characters would click and it would work. Only time would tell.
What these producers didn't know before the start of filming was that the fun-loving personality they'd hired to lead their vehicle, a mister Cowboy Rowboat by name, was in fact a raving, insane, berserking destructive power of unquestionable immensity and force.
As soon as the cameras started rolling, Cowboy Rowboat went on a rampage. He destroyed all the sets. He injured some child stars. He flung his arms wildly.
He seemed mad.
When finally detained, he was notified he would never work in kids show television again, at least not with that group of producers. The producers enrolled Furnitures in acting lessons. The mysterious patron went on a boat cruise.
Eleven years past.
The philanthropist returned. He had received a vision while examining some fossils. Well, not much of a vision; he suddenly remembered Furnitures. It took some thinking after that but he finally realized the potential of the Great Brown Oaf. He called in a few of his producers, mainly the chubbier ones. He pitched the idea of using Furnitures as the loveable, huggable lead in his own TV show. They were delighted! They removed him from his acting classes, from which he hadn't gained much instruction, and set up the show. This time, they were sure, they wouldn't have another Cowboy Rowboat Incident. This new guy wouldn't hurt anybody. He could harldly look a person in the eye. Now they would need to find a some friends for the big fella...
